Fantasy Killers

"The thing that bugs me," said Brian, "is that you never really know what women are like...not for a long time, anyway. They only show you what they want you to see."

Michael nodded. "So you fantasize over all the wrong things."

"Yeah."

"Christ! That happens to me all the time," said michael. "I meet some person...male-type...at a bar or the baths, and he seems really...what I want. A nice mustache, Levi's, a starched khaki army shirt...strong...Somebody you could take back [home] and they'd never know the difference.

"Then you go home with him to his house on Upper Market, and you try like hell not to go to the bathroom, because the bathroom is the giveaway, the fantasy-killer...."

Brian looked confused.

"It's the bathroom cabinet," Michael explained. "Face creams and shampoos for days. And on the top of the toilet tank they've all always got one of those goddamn little gold pedestals full of colored soap balls!"

~Tales of the City