How Jezebel Just Lost my Readership, and Maybe Yours

Those of us women over 6' tall in the U.S. (I'm 6'4") only make up 1% of the population. That's about 3.2 million of us out there. It's not a huge number, but here's the thing about that number:

• 99% of us are between the ages of 20 and 50
• We are internet savvy because we had to be (to find clothes, communities, etc.)
• A decent chunk of us tend toward the liberal because, again, we had to (traditional roles don't work with us, we faced a lot of bullying growing up, etc.)
• We are constantly exploring the world around us for innovations (because we're looking for the world to offer things that work for us)

Essentially, we are the perfect demographic for Jezebel. And many of us are readers. In many of the tall communities I'm in, we share Jezebel articles frequently. We are still, above all, women who want to connect with others and the world around us.

Well, Jezebel, you just lost us.

The quick spotlight Clover Hope wrote about the TLC series My Giant Life was bad.

It was dismissive, and the use of the word "gripe" was unnecessarily snarky.

But that's not the problem. No. The problem is Clover Hope and her response to the comments.

One commenter questioned the snark and Clover responded with, "how about you chill," as you can see in the screenshots below:

Kara Brown also commented:

The problem here is the lack of respect for readers. Especially those that represent the population on which are you commenting. Not that I ever mistook Jezebel for serious journalism, but does an outlet like this really want someone with a childish, "I know you are but what am I?" mentality representing them? This is digusting.

There have been over 500 comments in the couple hours since this article was posted. Thanks to Clover's offensiveness, a comment war between short and tall has now started. This is ridiculous.

This is not about Tall versus Short. This is about a wanna be journalist treating an entire population as if they don't matter. Several commenters brought up the similarity to race issues:

 

And now we have race wars. This is extremely unfortunate and I am personally disgusted that a contributor to a national outlet could be so dismissive and disrespectful of an entire demographic, and then not hear the concerns when they offer feedback.

You can read all of the comments here. 

Clover Hope has, in one comment, invalidated any good she has done in the past. I personally will not consume or share Jezebel content anymore, and I'm willing to bet that my sisterhood of tall women, and honestly - just women who have empathy for others - are with me.

And just to educate those of you who don't understand why tall women "gripe" about being tall, let me throw out a very small smattering of how it impacts our lives:

• We are pushed into sports, whether or not we want it
• We get unwanted attention all the time - people constantly comment on our bodies and our lives and tell us what we should and shouldn't be doing with it. 
• We cannot fit into airplane seats, first class is expensive, and in foreign countries that isn't always an option.
• We have to buy bigger cars.
• They don't make pants or shoes in our sizes, we have to make them or wear ugly things. Even when we can find something, it doesn't actually fit right and it's very expensive.
• Dating is hell - not because we want tall men, necessarily, just because of societal standards.
• We get back problems, ankle and knee problems, and circulation problems.
• We never ever ever get to feel "cute".
• We can't hear our friends when we're out standing somewhere.
• Want to go watch that baseball game or that movie? Prepare to have bruises on your knees the next day.
• Our feet hang off the end of the bed.
• The desk at work don't fit us.

The list goes on and on and on...

I've blogged a bit about being super tall before. You can read those posts here, here, and here. 

I don't complain about other populations "griping" about their problems. I try to understand them and empathize. I don't ask that you understand my issues - I just ask that you don't call us out as whiners. We are definitely not among the loudest voice of complainers in the world, and a lot of us have worked to change our world to address our issues.

So sure, Clover - I'll chill. But I'm gonna be chilling without Jezebel because of you.

Growing Up Super Tall

I will write this out better someday, but someday is not now. I'm inspired by the following article:

http://thetallblog.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/what-its-really-like-being-64-and-a-women/

But I feel like she misses some points:

1. She wasn't tall until high school. I was 6'4" in 8th grade. I haven't grown a bit since. While I may have been popular in one sense, I felt extremely unpopular. People called me sasquatch in elementary school and junior high, boys asked me out as jokes and then laughed when I said okay, the popular girls didn't see me as anything like them...I felt like a complete outsider.

2. My height as a young child meant that I had to act older - always. When I was 5 people thought I was 8, when I was 10 people thought I was 13, when I was 12 local high school seniors asked me out. I had to grow up a little too quickly for my own my good, without the experience and emotional maturity to face the issues presented to me. I ended up dating older men, which probably also screwed with my head.

3. I was never a girl. I was always a tomboy. I had tons of guy friends who never saw me as girly. I had girlfriends but could never enjoy the things they enjoyed (shopping, shoes, crushes on boys taller than me, etc.).

Now, I embrace my height. I LOVE it. But there are still problems:

4. I have to order every pant I've ever owned. And then I have to tailor it. These pants are expensive. When I was broke and working in nonprofits, I couldn't do a damn thing to further myself. Now I have great pants, but when they wear out I have to replace them and it's a bitch. I have to order a bunch of pants, pay for shipping (and there's no such thing as a pair of pants in my inseam for less than $80), try them on, return the ones that down work, pay for shipping again. Yes, I know that shop you love has tall sizes. No, they are not tall enough for me. I have to use sites like longtallsally and longelegantlegs...both of which tailor by height, not style, which means I get maybe one or two pairs of pants per season that work for me. Thank god I even have a style choice now.

5. I have to order shoes. They are not always cute. Sometimes they suck. When I find a pair I love, I buy multiples. I have 4 pairs of the beautiful Nine West black pumps I found specially made for barefoottess.com. I prefer heels. Heels in my height tend to be very very low, or so high they are really meant for trannies. (Nothing against the trannies...lots of love here.)

6. In a bar, at a party, I have to sit if I want to hear the conversation. Unless I'm in a group of tall guys...which again, makes me one of the guys rather than part of the girl conversation.

7. My thighs will ALWAYS be bigger than my date's thighs. Even if he's a rockstar. In fact, I BRIEFLY dated an ex pro football player who was 6'9", and my thighs were still bigger than his. And I was not in a fat phase.

8. I will never ever be anonymous. Never. I can't get away with anything. People remember me. You know how you forget someone's name and you can play it off? I can't...they always remember that I met them and tell me so. Shit.

9. I can never go on a peaceful walk in the city. Someone will always stop me. Most days this is okay. Some days I enjoy it. But some days, you just want to be left the eff alone. Those days, I can't be.

10. Beds are too short, airplanes are too cramped, cars don't have enough room. I just don't fit in this world.

Now for the good:

11. I am always noticed. I always get attention.

12. People feel a connection to me because I offer a non-threatening way to approach me.

13. I'm actually okay at basketball. :)

14. I never have trouble reaching ANYTHING.

15. I am a goddess in developing countries.

16. I am seen as older and more powerful than I am in the workplace.

17. I can carry my own shit without needing help.

18. Being a freak has forced me to embrace who I am. I love me, and I'm so thankful I am me. I just wish maybe I could get better clothes and shoes. :)

SmileyBits Day 8

1. It's National Stand Tall Week! Great marketing from Long Tall Sally, one of the only shops from which I can buy pants. Short and sweet interview with Arianne Cohen on NY Nightly News.

2. I could have been starting on another disaster project today. Instead, I'm prepping for a pro-bono stint that will allow me a little breathing room.

3. It was a fanstically gorgeous day in San Francisco.

4. The piano player at Cypress takes requests.

5. While I didn't love the movie, watching Hangover 2 with someone who hadn't seen it yet was pretty darn fun.

The Life of a Tall Girl

This video is SO true!



They missed a couple of my favorites:
"Are your parents tall?"
"How tall are your parents?"
"I wanna climb that tree!"
"I'll climb that!"

On Being Tall - Comments from the Underlings

I ran across a fantastic article today (only fantastic because I've never seen this in non-tall-focused media before) and have to share it. This is vital information for most men.

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Tall Woman (from Asylum.com)
My comments in RED.

Statistically, Americans may be getting shorter, but like all evolution, that takes time, and not everyone has shrunk. Take, for example, that tall girl you've got your eye on across the bar. You'd like to impress her, right? Two key pieces of advice: A) Be yourself (as your Mom told you about 10 years ago) and B) don't make a big thing of her height.

In the interest of aiding your love life, writer Laura Gilbert asked a WNBA team's worth of willowy women what clichéd lines turn them off most. Heed their warnings and you might just get to check "chick over six feet tall" off your "to do before I die " list.

10. "You must be a model!" (This line shows that you're not trying very hard, even if you clarify up front that you're only asking because she's really rilly pretty.) Believe it or not, I'm actually TOO tall to be a model, but thanks for reminding me. I'm actually also far too big to be a model. Height does not a model make. And NO, I won't model for you, jackass. I'm not interested in posing for your creepy photos, thanks.

9. "You can't be 5' 10". I'm 5'10"!" (It's one thing to lie about your height while you're sitting down or on an Internet profile. When you say this to someone who has to lean down to hear it, you're busted.) No guy wants to believe that I'm 6'4". It KILLS them when I say that technically I'm only 6'3.75". Sorry, boys...NCAA measurement trumps drunk guy tape measure.

8. "Is it hard for you to meet people taller than you?" (If she has to explain the bell curve to you, you might not be an intellectual match.) Nope, happens all the time. You see so many of them, right? That's why you're talking to me about my height, obviously. That pool is further limited by the fact that so many of you can't handle a tall woman to begin with. AND, why do I have to meet people taller than me? That's a silly assumption.

7. "Now there's a tree I'd like to climb." (Yummeh.) Honey, if that's how you approach it, you'd fall off before you got to the ankles.

6. "How do you kiss?" ( Or the skin-crawling subset: "Wow, I feel like I'm the girl!" You do realize that kissing doesn't require her to use her legs, right?) Well, hopefully I've got a man who is actually a man on the other end.

5. "I could eat my way to the top." (Stop. Just stop.) You know what's so sad about this one? Had you started with my brain, you might have even had a shot.

4. "How tall are you, anyway?" (Think about it: Whatever she answers won't make much difference, except that you'll look sorta insecure for having asked. Use some deductive reasoning and you should be able to guess within an inch or two.) Will it change your life to know the number? The variation of this one that really gets me is when it's a stranger just passing me on the street and they'll never see me again.

3. "How do you wear heels?" (Like everyone else: one foot at a time. She looks even better when she does it, shortstack.) And yes, I LOVE heels. Deal with it.

2. "It won't matter much when we're lying down." (Only a fool would invite commentary on the inches that do make a difference during horizontal integration.) Exactly. My inches won't matter. :)

1. "Do you play basketball?" (People don't ask "Do you play professional baseball?" just because you're paunchy and chew tobacco. Pay it forward by giving tall women the same courtesy.) I was once told to ask in return "do you play miniature golf? or the piccolo?"

My additions to the list:

11. "You're a big girl!" big? why do you have to say big? TALL is the word, thank you.

12. "Can I have some of that height?" Sure...find a way to do it and I'm happy to give up a little to be able to fit into clothes, shoes, cars, airplane seats, etc. But really you're just reminding me that I can't do that, so this sucks.

13. "Must be nice to reach things (or see over everyone)!" Yeah. Must be nice to fit into clothes, shoes, cars, airplane seats, etc.

14. "Those legs would look really nice wrapped around me!" Yes they would. And it would be nice, if you were worthy. Too bad you'll never find out if that's how you start the conversation.

15. "How did you get so tall?" or "Are your parents tall?" I drank a magic potion and *poof* one day I was this way. 'Actually, my parents are midgets and I'm a freak of nature.'

16. "Damn you're tall!" yep. and damn, you're rude.


Really, the thing that bugs me, is simply that people feel they can approach me without manners. My height does not give you permission to be an asshole. Just be nice, and I'll be a happy girl.

Why Tall Chicks Rock Reason #1

I'm starting with 1 because I think I'm actually going to keep this list. :)

We provide shade in sunny places.