On Being Tall - Comments from the Underlings

I ran across a fantastic article today (only fantastic because I've never seen this in non-tall-focused media before) and have to share it. This is vital information for most men.

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Tall Woman (from Asylum.com)
My comments in RED.

Statistically, Americans may be getting shorter, but like all evolution, that takes time, and not everyone has shrunk. Take, for example, that tall girl you've got your eye on across the bar. You'd like to impress her, right? Two key pieces of advice: A) Be yourself (as your Mom told you about 10 years ago) and B) don't make a big thing of her height.

In the interest of aiding your love life, writer Laura Gilbert asked a WNBA team's worth of willowy women what clichéd lines turn them off most. Heed their warnings and you might just get to check "chick over six feet tall" off your "to do before I die " list.

10. "You must be a model!" (This line shows that you're not trying very hard, even if you clarify up front that you're only asking because she's really rilly pretty.) Believe it or not, I'm actually TOO tall to be a model, but thanks for reminding me. I'm actually also far too big to be a model. Height does not a model make. And NO, I won't model for you, jackass. I'm not interested in posing for your creepy photos, thanks.

9. "You can't be 5' 10". I'm 5'10"!" (It's one thing to lie about your height while you're sitting down or on an Internet profile. When you say this to someone who has to lean down to hear it, you're busted.) No guy wants to believe that I'm 6'4". It KILLS them when I say that technically I'm only 6'3.75". Sorry, boys...NCAA measurement trumps drunk guy tape measure.

8. "Is it hard for you to meet people taller than you?" (If she has to explain the bell curve to you, you might not be an intellectual match.) Nope, happens all the time. You see so many of them, right? That's why you're talking to me about my height, obviously. That pool is further limited by the fact that so many of you can't handle a tall woman to begin with. AND, why do I have to meet people taller than me? That's a silly assumption.

7. "Now there's a tree I'd like to climb." (Yummeh.) Honey, if that's how you approach it, you'd fall off before you got to the ankles.

6. "How do you kiss?" ( Or the skin-crawling subset: "Wow, I feel like I'm the girl!" You do realize that kissing doesn't require her to use her legs, right?) Well, hopefully I've got a man who is actually a man on the other end.

5. "I could eat my way to the top." (Stop. Just stop.) You know what's so sad about this one? Had you started with my brain, you might have even had a shot.

4. "How tall are you, anyway?" (Think about it: Whatever she answers won't make much difference, except that you'll look sorta insecure for having asked. Use some deductive reasoning and you should be able to guess within an inch or two.) Will it change your life to know the number? The variation of this one that really gets me is when it's a stranger just passing me on the street and they'll never see me again.

3. "How do you wear heels?" (Like everyone else: one foot at a time. She looks even better when she does it, shortstack.) And yes, I LOVE heels. Deal with it.

2. "It won't matter much when we're lying down." (Only a fool would invite commentary on the inches that do make a difference during horizontal integration.) Exactly. My inches won't matter. :)

1. "Do you play basketball?" (People don't ask "Do you play professional baseball?" just because you're paunchy and chew tobacco. Pay it forward by giving tall women the same courtesy.) I was once told to ask in return "do you play miniature golf? or the piccolo?"

My additions to the list:

11. "You're a big girl!" big? why do you have to say big? TALL is the word, thank you.

12. "Can I have some of that height?" Sure...find a way to do it and I'm happy to give up a little to be able to fit into clothes, shoes, cars, airplane seats, etc. But really you're just reminding me that I can't do that, so this sucks.

13. "Must be nice to reach things (or see over everyone)!" Yeah. Must be nice to fit into clothes, shoes, cars, airplane seats, etc.

14. "Those legs would look really nice wrapped around me!" Yes they would. And it would be nice, if you were worthy. Too bad you'll never find out if that's how you start the conversation.

15. "How did you get so tall?" or "Are your parents tall?" I drank a magic potion and *poof* one day I was this way. 'Actually, my parents are midgets and I'm a freak of nature.'

16. "Damn you're tall!" yep. and damn, you're rude.


Really, the thing that bugs me, is simply that people feel they can approach me without manners. My height does not give you permission to be an asshole. Just be nice, and I'll be a happy girl.

British Reaction to American Health Care Debate

A couple of friends living in London have made me aware of the reaction there to our current Health Care debate. Many Brits are appalled at the reluctance of Americans to adopt health care reform, and even more so at the falsified information that is being touted about their own system.

I was directed to a discussion on yelp.com, and decided to add my two cents. Thought I'd throw it up here, since I've mostly avoided the discussion up til now.

My post:

I'm approaching this conversation as a fiscally conservative and socially liberal American with decent medical insurance.

What's happening in the town halls and across the middle and rural areas of our country in regards to the health care debate is the result of American pride, a bit of cognitive dissonance, and a big dose of fear. For years we were told we had the best doctors, the best specialists, the best hospitals, the best research, etc. We took pride in having beautiful teeth and state of the art treatments, and told ourselves that we paid so much because it was worth it. We had to justify the cost, and we've spent years cultivating a sense of pride to validate the outrageous costs. We were told (and told ourselves) that if we didn't pay so much, we'd all have bad doctors and long waits and inferior treatment (and the worst of all things...bad teeth!)

It is only as blogging has become accessible to those for whom this system is not working that we've started to become aware of just how bad it really is. We are now faced with daily (hourly?) reminders of how the American healthcare system has failed the people, and we are reacting to this information with the stage-appropriate denial and fear that you are all seeing. It will take time for the middle of America and rural America to understand what is going on and why this needs to change. The coasts and the cities are starting to understand better, but the reluctance of the more conservative people should not be seen as stupidity or unwillingness to change - it is simply the result of learning that what we thought we were good at really wasn't all that great.

A number of republicans are using fear tactics and distorting the truth to compound this fear. But the democrats aren't helping much, either, by just trying to pull heartstrings rather than offer tangible, balanced solutions that can work in a capitalist society. The fact that there are so many possibilities further confuses the issue and adds to the fear you are seeing from our people.I think if someone could really highlight for people how our system works (because believe me, none of us really understand how it all works in our country, let alone anyone else's), we'd find that we could come to a new system through relatively minor overhauls, and that the new the system wouldn't be so different as to be socialist (which is a bad word here).

I don't know what the new system should look like. I don't know if the NHS is the perfect example of the right answer (although it does seem like a great step in the right direction, and one that could work here). I do, however, know a few things about the fears people have and how are current system addresses those:

1. We are scared of the QUALITY of public systems because we've only seen bad examples. In our cities, community health clinics are supported by the government and private donations, and they are utilized by the poor, the homeless, and those other people who are NOT US. We have an image that they are dirty and inferior and that they cannot attract good doctors. And many of them are, but we do have good community health clinics that are totally supported by the public and by government grants. Clinic Ole, in the San Francisco Bay Area, for example, has become so well known as an excellent provider of health care that the demand from insured patients required them to start accepting insurance when available. The clinic itself serves the entire community on a sliding scale based on your ability to pay, with many free services. If the public could see more examples like this, rather than the images being strewn about by those against reform, they might believe we could adopt something like the NHS and make it work.

2. We are scared of LONG WAIT times and not being able to get the services we need when we need them. But we already have those. How long do people have to wait to get approval from an insurance company to have a procedure? I would much rather wait because the doctor is not yet available to perform the surgery, than be waiting when the doctor says I need it now because an insurance company wants to approve the necessity of the cost first. I had a fairly urgent, but not emergency, surgery 2 years ago. Once diagnosed, I had to wait over a month to have the surgery. Not because the doctor wasn't available, or because there were no operating rooms - but because my insurance company made all of us jump through hoops to prove that it was necessary. However, I was fortunate enough to work for a private funder who happened to be a major donor to the hospital where the surgery was to be performed. Somehow, once that became known, I was immediately booked for surgery within 2 days. The hospital insurance liaison worked with the insurance company to get me approved right away because I was suddenly a VIP. Meanwhile, millions of other Americans were waiting for their insurance companies to approve their treatments. Although thankful for the bump, I find this incredibly depressing.

3. We are scared of bad teeth. I kid, a bit, but seriously...too many people in this country think all Brits have bad teeth because of public health care. Ridiculous, but it is a common perception. But here's the thing...I have pretty good insurance with good dental coverage, and I still can't afford to care for my teeth. Cleanings are covered, sure, but anything else is so expensive that many people can't take care of it. Even root canals that are deemed medically necessary are usually only covered at half cost, if that. A root canal in a city like San Francisco costs a well insured patient about $600 at a mid-range dentist. That doesn't included xrays, diagnoses, and follow-up. So many people forgo them all together. There's a reason we have images of hillbillies with no teeth. We are scared of not being able to access the best doctors and the best treatments, but honestly, most Americans can't do that even here, because the cost is so prohibitive.

4. We are scared of not being able to get treated well when we need specialists, but we don't get the preventative healthcare that would keep us from ever needing it. I currently am working on funding for obesity clinics for children. They need private funding because insurance companies won't insure a child who has been diagnosed as obese. We know that obese children turn into adults with diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, etc. Yet we don't fix it when we can? There are countless examples of how the American system represents sick care rather than healthcare.

Just throwing out what I know. I have a great deal of respect for the pride you take in your system, and am looking forward to our government offering a system that might work for us.

Book Report: Secret Diary of a Call Girl

A friend mentioned this to me, and then another happened to have it on her shelf. Just read it during a trip to Vegas.

Very graphic, very sexy, very funny book. Not for the prude. I enjoyed it immensely.

A few tidbits of incredible insight:

Dictionary Entry: in love - a momentary instance of being almost as interested in someone else as in oneself

"You know the feeling where all the pent-up energy goes straight to your legs, and you just want to run and run until you jump off a cliff? ... I'd fallen hard and had to see the man."

"My eyes followed Dr. C's lithe form around the room--eyeing the table, setting up a shot, the confident swing of the arm below the elbow on the follow-through. Competence so turns me on."

"Sexiness is not a square-yards-of-cloth to exposed-skin ratio. Sexy is not the inevitable result of being blonde, tan, and thin. Sexy is the result of being pulled together and comfortable in your skin. Holding your stomach in when your clothes are off is not fuckable. Slapping your ample behind and inviting him to ride the wobble is."

Buy the book.

Gatsby

He stole my heart when he was 3 weeks old (he was dirty and sick and too young to be away from his mom).

He always curled up next to my face, frequently nudging himself between my mouth and the phone (jealous boy!).

He always came when I called (even when it took him several minutes to get to me because he was blocks away).

He interrupted any sex I tried to have at the house all those years ago (maybe Mom trained him).

When I pulled into the drive, he jumped on the hood of my car every time. When I tried to leave he frequently tried to come with me, walking along the windowsill trying to get in (see...there's a reason I was always late!).

When I left for college he sat in my room and cried and howled all night (who doesn't want a boy to miss them that much?).

He came to visit me in my freshman dorm and got me into trouble for having a cat in my room (it was worth it).

He was with me through that incredible summer after high school graduation. He loved Mom through years of breast cancer treatments. He loved me in the aftermath of both devastating returns from San Francisco. He saw me through nine boyfriends (and nine breakups) and more bad dates than I can count. He loved me unconditionally.

After years of not living at home, he still remembered me every time I visited. The second I walked into the house he jumped on my lap and stayed until I had to leave. He never forgot me.

I'll never forget him.

RIP sweet kitty.

A Night Full of Quotes

"It was really nice, if you like really horrible things."

"A little bit of formaldehyde can't be that bad."

"She's got emotional tools to deal with things."

"Can we keep making out, just in the dark?"

"That's why I'm wearing a tie and stuff. That's what I call polishing a turd."

Texts From Last Night

I just learned about a new website that is keeping me highly amused today.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

A few of my favorite entries:

Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.

she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?

Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.

The Autism Vaccine Debate Again

A classmate of mine from way back when posted a couple of interesting articles today that sparked my interest.

The first is a blog on Discover's website:
Discover Blog: Antivax kills.

The second is a publication regarding much of the research that has been done on the autism vaccine link:
Science Daily Vaccine and Autism Article

My classmate made a really good point about how it's easier for people to blame the government than their own DNA. I absolutely think this is the case. It's so much easier for us to believe that we can change things than it is to believe that we are doomed to whatever diseases our body has predetermined.

As in most things, I find myself firmly in the middle here.

Do I think vaccines cause autism? In general, probably not, but maybe in some cases.
Do I think the debate is over? Definitely not.
Do I think parents should avoid vaccines? NO!

This is a difficult situation because the waters are so murky.

First of all, the autism diagnosis is handed to people with a wide array of symptoms. As an ABA therapist I worked with children who many different sets of symptoms. At the time we frequently referred to that as high functioning or low functioning, but I don't think it was just on a spectrum of bad to worse. Some of the symptoms were qualitatively different.

For example, what about the difference between kids with autism only, or those with autism and mental retardation. Is it really that they have both, or is it that they have a qualitatively different type of disorder? We called the first category high functioning, but it's really just totally different. I had one kid who could read, write, draw, speak in sentences after being taught, but could express no emotion. I had another kid who couldn't sit for more than 2 seconds. Yes, they shared some common symptoms - language delay, eye contact, lack of emotional involvement, and a little OCD, but they were very very different and required much different treatment plans. I've got a ton of these types of comparisons.

Doesn't it seem possible then, that maybe we've grouped a whole bunch of different things into one lump called autism? Just so happens that mercury poisoning looks a whole lot like some of these kids, but definitely not all or even most. Some cases seem to be more about extreme sensory sensitivity than anything else. Others mimic the isolation and turning inward that happens to some kids after severe trauma. Maybe they differ so much because they are actually different. And if that's the case, doesn't it follow that maybe they have different causes?

And if THAT's the case, then it seems totally plausible to me that SOME cases of autism were caused in SOME part by vaccines. I find David Kirby's hypothesis in Evidence of Harm particularly reasonable. He basically says that some kids are born with a genetic defect that keeps them from processing toxins properly. In those children, when you introduce vaccines containing thimerosal (which contains mercury and other toxins) in high doses, you might get autism-like symptoms. We also see the same thing in small communities where there has been significant exposure to mercury through fish consumption or environmental waste. A genetic problem would also explain differences between communities that aren't accounted for by toxin exposure. Anyway - this is all a MIGHT for SOME of the population, and it doesn't actually state anything conclusive.

What we do know is that children are getting more vaccines than ever before, and that some of them are thought to be unnecessary by some parents. So do we stop vaccinating our children?
NO! I really haven't heard anyone rational state that parents should forgo vaccines. Even Jenny McCarthy suggests an altered schedule, rather than not getting vaccines at all. I personally recommend learning about the issue as a parent and working with your doctor to determine what you feel is safe for your child. Make sure your doctor takes your concerns seriously, and then listen. One mother described this process on her blog about an alternative schedule.

It is irresponsible to not vaccinate your child at all: to your child and to the children with whom he'll come in contact. I think the biggest takeaway here is that there are a lot of possibilities, but reacting out of fear won't help. Educate yourself by reading many sides. Read David Kirby's book, read all the stuff on both sides of the issue, then work it out with your doctor. Ask for thimerosal free vaccines whenever possible. When you get the flu shot, get the pregnancy version (the one with no preservatives). Just be smart about it, don't overreact, and approach it from a middle ground that makes sense. Would you really risk your child dying of diptheria because you were too scared to work out a better way?

Heather Armstrong wrote a great post about her feelings regarding the responsibility of mothers to vaccinate their children.

In the early 2000s in Arkansas there was a huge outbreak of diphtheria because parents didn't have great access to vaccines. I was at a talk with David Kirby and some safe vaccine advocates when a pediatrician from northern Arkansas, who agreed with Kirby about the possibility of vaccine and autism links, begged the crowd to get their children vaccinated. She had just watched a significant portion of her clients die because they just hadn't gotten the shot. Death is not an alternative to a fear of autism. Carrying a disease to another child who didn't get vaccinated is not an alternative to a fear of autism.

Some of my other posts about this issue:

Charity Divided
Missouri Thimerosal Ban
Autism and Vaccinations

Bad Business Models

CitiApartments is losing a ton of buildings to foreclosure. What's interesting to me, though, is that the reasons resemble the same reasons a ponzi scheme eventually fails. San Francisco Tenants Union reports:

The, notoriously bad landlord CitiApartments seems to be in deep financial trouble. The CitiApartments business model was based on forcing out long-term tenants paying affordable rents and replacing them with market-rent paying tenants. This strategy failed as tenants organized and refused to be intimidated from their homes. Their main strategy was tenant harassment coupled with buyout offers. Tenants should be aware that CitiApartments has now reneged on numerous such buyouts, refusing to pay after tenants had moved.

In my experience, Citi's model is dependent upon tenants in rent-controlled units accepting payouts to move out of their units, allowing Citi to bring in new renters at much higher prices. We've received many offers from Citi for moving costs, free rent in a new building, and returned deposits, but we were holding out in hopes of them offering more (and because we LOVE our apartment). I've heard stories of people who've been able to get $10-20,ooo just to move out because they had entered into their lease at a low point, and the sum was not much for Citi when considering long-term revenue increases. They use the profits to purchase more buildings and remodel units to charge higher prices. Citi owns a seriously large portion of the rentable units in San Francisco.

This seemed like a decent model. Until, of course, people stopped paying higher rents. All of a sudden, Citi had to compete on price, rather than total property domination. Rather than moving tenants out, Citi needs them to stay at their current rent prices. No more consistent income increases means Citi has to rely on its actual business, and we can see that's not working. The SF Tenant's Union has published lists of the foreclosed properties. Ours isn't on it yet, but one of the buildings in our little community is. Could be interesting.

Veitch Zingers #1

My macro prof has a habit of making strange analogies and trying to use humor to demonstrate his points. Sometimes he goes so far with the humor that the point doesn't make sense, usually with amusing results. Some from tonight:

"You wanna see a loser? Look in the mirror!"

"You don't have to be the best at anything, and you can still succeed."

"[Adjusting interest rates to fix the foreign exchange rate] is like using a sledgehammer to beat a splinter out of my toe. I might get rid of the splinter, but there will be a lot of collateral damage."

"There's always a place where you can make the trade. Where did I find it? Behind the hotel last night."

Emotional Citizens

Because we are all emotional people, I present Gail Collins' article on irrational expectations in the NY Times.

My favorite part:

Let’s complain about Barack Obama. Why doesn’t he sound angrier? Doesn’t he understand that his job right now is to be the Great Venter?

Sure he keeps saying he’s mad. But you can tell that he secretly thinks it’s crazy to obsess about $165 million in bonuses in a company that’s still got $1.6 trillion in toxic assets to unravel. “I don’t want to quell that anger. I want to channel our anger in a constructive way,” he said on Wednesday. Everybody knows constructively channeled anger doesn’t really count. It’s like diet pizza.

If John McCain were president, you can bet that we’d be getting outrage 24-7. McCain would be so angry that we’d be scared that he’d have a coronary or invade a new country. The New York Post would be running “Calm Down, Mr. President” headlines.

Except, of course, the whole reason we elected Barack Obama was because when the economy started melting down, Obama seemed sane and calm while McCain appeared to be a loopy visitor from the Planet of the Overwrought.

I hate it when we make irrational, contradictory demands of our president. But, it seems as if that’s what he’s there for.

Springfield MO in the Times!

I've blogged about Springfield's Cashew Chicken in the past, but now the New York Times is on board!

David Leong, creator of Springfield cashew chicken said: “When I moved here in the 1950s, people kept telling me about fried chicken,” Mr. Leong said. “I did what they wanted. I gave them fried chicken with Chinese oyster sauce and cashews.”

None of the original restaurants are still open, and Leong family that started it all is retired from operating their own Chinese restaurants, but you can still get amazing cashew chicken at a number of places. My favorite is Hong Kong Inn, on Sunshine. It was on my way home from work when I lived in Springfield, and was a weekly staple in my healthy southern/midwestern diet. I also really like Yen Ching, in Ozark. The family has daughters living in San Francisco, so we always chat about that a bit. They do a take on cashew chicken that I adore when it's on the menu. They remove the gravy and add an apple gravy-like sauce, take out the cashews and add apples in, and use the same crispy fried chicken. YUM. Seriously good. Hmmm...I'm kinda scared to go home now. I'll probably gain 20 lbs on the visit.

Anyway, read the NYT article. Not often that Springfield makes it big. :) Well, not since Brad Pitt, anyway.

Getting What I Can For My Money

Operations is not a class that leads to a ton of "aha!" moments. I really enjoyed this quote today from our prof's foray into explaining CSR.

Sustainability:
Transforming our ways of living to maximize the chances that environmental and social conditions will indefinitely support human security, well-being, and health.

~McMichael, Butler, Folke; Science, 2003

Warning Label Translations

We just ordered a DDR mat that's supposed to actually let us play our old DDR games in the PS3. It came with instructions written in an interesting translation of English.
An excerpt from the warning section:
V, matters needing attention
1, do not be please in the high temperature, moist and under the multi-dust environment to use
2, Please not will dancemat to put the place which iwll expose to the sun in the solar storm.
3, guarded against uses the non-neutral solvent to clean this.
4, please do not have to make an effort to twist, pulls the electric cable line, in order to avoid the ties damage.
and my favorite:
5, the child, the old person and bodily illness carry on the game, avoids the period of revolution excessively being long.

A Question For Maupin

Q: What else is going on?
A: I'm really excited about the "Tales of the City" musical slated for Broadway. It's in the hands of very talented people. Jake Shears and John Garden of Scissor Sisters are composing the music and lyrics. I've been listening to the songs and offering comments on the script. There's a raunchy whorehouse number, "Ride 'em Hard and Put 'em Down Wet," a tune called "You May Be the Last Good Lay He'll Ever Get" and some gospel-singing A-gays (as in A-list). Jeff Whitty, who won a Tony for "Avenue Q," is writing the libretto. It's brilliant. He managed to be faithful to the story and make it work for the stage.
AHHHHH!!!! - I can't wait!!!

Finally!

California Senate Passes Budget

The Senate had been one GOP vote short until Sen. Abel Maldonado, R-Santa Maria (Santa Barbara County), changed his mind to support the budget plan, but only after Schwarzenegger and legislative leaders agreed to his demands.

"I know there will be dire political ramifications for me, but I know the ramifications for the people of California would be more dire (without this budget)," said Maldonado. "This budget is about shared pain and shared sacrifices."

Glad you finally figured that one out, Maldonado - everyone else came to that conclusion, oh, about 4 days ago - BEFORE the deadline. Thanks for your sacrifice.

What's even crazier, though, is that I agree with ONE of Maldonado's demands:

Maldonado's demands included the removal of a proposed 12 cents a gallon gasoline tax, suspending hikes in pay and per diems for lawmakers when the state is facing budget deficits, and a ballot measure in June 2010 that asks voters whether they want open primaries.

A 12 cent/gallon gasoline tax? Now? Right - because that doesn't hit the families that need the most help or anything. Historically, particularly in California (except for the Bay Area), the people in the most dire circumstances are the people who have to drive the farthest. That's because they can't afford to live in the cities, so they live farther out and have to cross longer distances to find work. So increasing the gas tax almost immediately hits the people who are already struggling the most. I can't believe the democrats supported that one. I mean - 2 or 3 cents maybe, but 12 cents?!?

But Maldonado's other demands? NOT suspending hikes in pay during budget deficits? If a public company is in bad shape, employees don't get raises. Why should it be different for lawmakers? Might actually get them to work to close the budget deficit. But Maldonado doesn't want to have to come up with solutions in order to get a raise. What I will agree to, though, is that this really shouldn't have been tacked on to the budget in the first place. This isn't part of the budget, so why does it matter in face of the deadline? Same thing with the primaries. I don't really understand everything behind it at this point - I know it's a big deal - but why does it need to be tacked on to the budget?

So anyway, I'm actually kinda happy with the results of the delay. Craziness.

Regarding the original budget plan, I do have to comment on the sales tax increase. This doesn't help the economy. I propose a plan more like some other states (Minnesota comes to mine), with sales tax eliminated on necessities (food, school supplies, children's clothing). Then maybe we could increase the sales tax more on other items. Perhaps you just do a moratorium for a year, which would boost the economy by encouraging people to buy more of those necessities now while there is no sales tax on those items. At the very least, we shouldn't be increasing the sales tax on food. How is that helpful at all? People will just be able to afford less, which means food banks will have more demand, which means the government will have to provide more in food stamps and aid. Not smart people.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could get our officials to think past the next election?

Rally Against Overreaction

SFist has the scoop on the Bay 2 Breakers rally. My favorite part:

God forbid SFist should tell you how to prioritize your battles, San Francisco. But, a rally to keep public pissing, nudity and drinking in a race? Really? Huh.

I love this city.

Fabio's English

On Top Chef, Fabio has consistently been an excellent source of translation humor.

On last night's Top Chef, Fabio broke his finger. The medic asked if he wanted to go to the hospital. He said (paraphrasing), Hospital? I ain't going to no freegin hospital. I'll chop off my finger and sear it on the hot pad so it stops bleeding and deal with nine fingers tomorrow.

That was good, but my favorite - the one that had me rewinding and watching again - was this:
"I got so many kick in my ass that sometimes when I'm in the bathroom I still pull shoes out my ass."

Now add a thick Italian accent and read it again.

Classic.

I Love San Francisco

And right now, that's why I hate ING.

Everyone knows that Bay to Breakers instituted a Zero Tolerance alcohol policy for this year's race, but does everyone know they also eliminated all floats/carts/vehicles of any kind AND nudity? NUDITY? Who does that hurt?

While I'm not entirely sure any of this really matters, I thought I'd try my hand anyway, so if you want to take some action, here's what you can do:
Write an email (email address below, along with the email I sent).
If you are a fan of Bay to Breakers on Facebook or MySpace or such, remove yourself.
Join the protest groups on said sites. Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=50765922327#/group.php?gid=50765922327
Boycott this year's race.
Boycott ING.

Emails:
mediarelations@ingdirect.com,
ombudsman@ingdirect.com,
marketing@ingdirect.com,
sales@ingdirect.com,
info@ingbaytobreakers.com,
ingbaytobreakers@edelman.com,
gavin.newsom@sfgov.org,
ross.mirkarimi@sfgov.org,
cathy.macfarlane@ingdirect.com

My Email:
To Whom It May Concern,

Bay to Breakers is one of the many reasons I worked so hard to move to San Francisco. The fact that a city supports an annual event where people can run nude, dance on floats, and drink their little hearts out from one end of the city to the other is such a beautiful statement of openness and community. Bay to Breakers is (was) the epitome of what San Francisco is all about. And now that's gone?

The organizers of Bay-to-Breakers have valid concerns over the issues of floats, alcohol consumption, public nudity, and other iconic aspects of the event. However, as loyal registrants of past B2B races, we feel a "zero tolerance" policy is in complete opposition to the spirit of the event and therefore we will not support the organizer's new policy by paying registration fees until a more reasonable solution is in place.

In addition, if this decision is not reversed by the date of the 2009 Bay to Breakers, I personally will be removing all funds from ING and closing my accounts, and I will advise others to do the same.

Sincerely, ...

Risk Aversion

In finance we are discussing risk aversion, and how most people are fairly risk averse. Today I found this story about the most dangerous road in the world. It's in Bolivia, and it looks like something out of a cartoon. What does it say about me that as soon as I read this article, I added driving this road to one of the things I want to do before I die...

Check out all the amazing pictures!

Real Global Warming Options

As someone who finds myself fascinated with simple mechanisms scientists think might help (like painting roofs white, or sending a giant bomb up into the atmosphere to deflect radiation), I am even more fascinated by a recently released ranking of the various methods.

We hear so many options in different contexts, and they all sound good, so how do we know which ones to actually try?

I am often struck by the fact that many people, when faced with something they are told is a "good cause", react with some sense of obligation to goodness. People not in the field, or not associated with the field, often justify drunken galas or excessive auction spending (guilty!) with the "good cause" clause. As long as it's going to charity, it's good, and I get to feel good about myself...right?

In philanthropy, it's an entirely different world. Because there are so many "good causes", we not only have to determine which issues are most important (to our boards, to our missions, to the world), but also which organizations address those issues best. It's a crazy competitive world involving impact rankings, financial efficacy, and some relationships thrown in for good measure. We never take a good cause as simply that - always delving into it further before supporting it.

The green movement, however, throws most of us back into the uneducated category. We all want to do something good for the world. We want to address the issue, so we grasp at anything we can. We step up our recycling, we promote windmills, we install solar panels, and we might even paint a roof or two white. But are we really doing the right things?

Well, Wired Magazine just featured a recently published scientific paper that collects the different ways in which we could address global warming, and how effective each of these methods would be. VERY informative article with some great graphics and a pretty comprehensive and easy to understand list of potential solutions.

Here are a few of the more interesting ones, with rankings:

1. Inject enough sulfur dioxide into the stratosphere to reflect the small percentage of sunlight necessary to offset increased warming caused by carbon dioxide. This scheme is akin to the cooling induced by large volcanic explosions.
2. Manufacture sea salt spray to change the way clouds form over the ocean to increase their reflectivity.
3. Cover the earth's non-sandy deserts with a material composed of a white polyethylene top and an aluminum bottom. That would increase the albedo of those surfaces, cooling the earth.
4. Use chemical processes to pull carbon dioxide out of the air and sequester it in geological reservoirs.
7. Create charcoal from biomass, effectively sequestering the carbon in the plant matter, and bury it.
9. Breed or genetically engineer shinier crops to increase the reflectivity of the world's farmed land.
12. Plant massive amounts of trees across the Earth and count on them to sequester more carbon dioxide naturally.
16. Cool down huge amounts of water with large pumps to form and thicken sea ice that would in turn cool the sea water. That water would descend to the depths, taking a bit of extra carbon with it.
17. Make cities considerably more reflective by, say, painting roofs white.

Check out the complete Wired article, including awesome graphics.

At the very least, I feel a bit less guilty about not secretly splashing white paint on all the roofs of the city.

The Effect of Forwards

When I receive forwards from friends or family, particularly ones warning me of the dangers of something or "informing" me of some obscure aspect of a policy, I immediately go to Snopes to check the validity of the information. I then typically hit "reply all" and send the results of my search out to all the other victims. Yes, I am that girl.

That said, it should be obvious why I feel that this one is worth sharing.

I just want to thank everyone for the educational emails over the past year...

Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking your nose.

Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program .

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with HIV.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al-Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman-Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $500 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a rapist waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Have a wonderful day!

A Positive First Step

I remember the day I learned that Bush had implemented a policy to deny funding to all international aid groups that offered the option of, or even counseling about, abortion. It was one of his very first acts in office - and that day I hated him, perhaps more than I had hated anyone.

I was a sophomore in college, which goes to say that I was really a kid with a lot of fight in me ready to protest all the ills of the world. I had campaigned for Bill Bradley, then Gore, and although I would later come to respect some aspects of the Bush presidency after 9/11, on that day I hated him.

His act to showcase his strong pro-life stance and satisfy the fundamentalists who furthered his campaign also happened to cut funding for organizations that provided emergency protection for victims of oppression, abuse, rape, and war all across the world. Aid organizations in Africa assisting refugees of the war could no longer accept U.S. funds because they would counsel a woman on ALL of her options in a pregnancy (often as a result of an assault). Across Asia and Eastern Europe, budgets were slashed for organizations helping women in all kinds of perilous situations. Medical services groups like Planned Parenthood, that often serve as the primary health care provider for low-income women, couldn't rely on help from the U.S.. In my eyes, it was a devastating day.

I won't get into the argument about abortion - to me that's not what this is about - the U.S. was NEVER funding abortions. The idea of cutting funding to a group that offers counseling on abortion is a message that the U.S. will not help a fellow human because of an ideological belief. We will not help you with this concern, because the organization that is helping you will also tell someone else the truth about her choices. Regardless of how you feel about abortion, limiting NECESSARY healthcare because of this is ridiculous. It's like telling my coworker I won't work with her on a project because she disagreed with me on a personal issue. It's a petty punishment that has no place in the world relief conversation.

Obama changed that today.


I don't know that Obama is going to be a great president. I hope. I hope he will be, but I don't know that his leanings toward community organization and socialist principals will be the answer. Maybe. I do know, though, that this act is an incredible step in a good direction. We are telling the world that we will not let ideology get in the way of our place as a world power - we will help regardless of religious belief or ignorance about world situations.

Scary Day in a Quiet Neighborhood

The 36 yr old interior designer who lives next door to my office just knocked on our door crying. Wednesday afternoon (apparently right after I left work), a black man (meaning, someone we could NEVER identify in this neighborhood because it doesn't exist), came in through her back door (about 4pm), and bolted when her dog started growling and took off after him. The police say he came in through our alleyway door (the new interior store below leaves it open frequently), walked up our deck stairs, walked past my office's back door and into her apartment. They think, because of the time of day, how he got in, and some other things I don't know, that he was not coming in to burglarize, but to attack her. Police say it seems like he may have watched her for awhile to know that she lives alone, and that he knew she was there, and he knew we had left. He was wearing very heavy cologne, and she feels like she can still smell it. She came to our office because when she left she forgot her key and needed to get in through our windows. I'm glad she did, because she was incapable of going into her home alone. She was trembling and crying most of the time while I talked with her while she packed a weekend bag to go to her boyfriend's place. she's moving in with her boyfriend because she can't deal with being alone now. The guy didn't even touch her, but the violation of her space and the fear have totally changed her life - she is moving out herof her home of 5 years because she is too scared to be there, and she is now afraid to be alone.

This is a reminder to me that we can be lulled into a sense of security, but we still live in a big city and need to be safe. I, for one, noticed that one of our windows in the kitchen at the office (the window that this man walked right past and could have easily come into) doesn't lock. I just want to ask my girls out there to please take an extra moment today to make sure you're not allowing yourself to be a target.

http://www.wiredsafety.org/wired_women/gb/personal_safety.html

Diane Vadino Can Kiss My Rump

Diane Vadino wrote a terrible review of 8 cities one shouldn't live, but should visit.

San Francisco: Do not try this for home
San Francisco seduces, to be sure. Walk certain streets — up crowded, curving Lombard, along Union to Coit Tower, from Cole Valley to Twin Peaks — and every intersection reveals a picture-postcard view: of two iconic bridges, pinpoints of light flickering across the bay, of golden sunshine filtering through stands of eucalyptus trees.

Other neighborhoods, though, reveal images more police-blotter than tourism-brochure: a staggering homeless population, rampant open-air drug use, public parks and buses made intimidating and unsafe by unruly combinations of both. To live in San Francisco is to daily confront these issues — and probably from under a dense bank of fog. (The climate's as much London as it is L.A.)

By all means: Come. Dress warmly. Climb Twin Peaks. Visit SF MOMA, the new DeYoung, and the Legion of Honor, three world-class art museums. Shop Hayes Valley and Valencia Street; get brunch at Tartine, lunch at the Dolores Park Café, snacks at Bi-Rite, and dinner at Delfina. (This can be accomplished without leaving one short stretch of 18th Street, quite possibly the world's most densely packed row of organic and locally produced deliciousness.)

Rent a car on a nice day and drive across the Golden Gate to Point Reyes National Seashore for scenery that suggests an impossibly sunny Scotland. And then, go home, safe in the knowledge that San Francisco puts on its best face for its guests. Leave the hard work of citizenship to the locals.
- Diane Vadino

She thinks one shouldn't live in SF, partly because of rampant open air drug use. Are they still calling pot smoking open air drug use? Someone shoudl let her in on a little secret: the neighborhoods she refers to as "other neighborhoods" are not places locals go to unless they WANT to, and the "unruly combinations" of people making bus lines unsafe are on the bus lines that go to those other neighborhoods that locals only use if they WANT to.

Screw you, Ms. Vadino. Go live happily in your hole in the middle of Nebraska and leave us all the heck alone.

How I Love My Muni 49

From Best of Craigslist:

....in case you were wondering, yes, we all saw. And were horrified!

You might remember the incident, huh? About 9:45pm last night, heading north. Why would I know the time, well I had to look at my cell phone to keep my eyes from looking over as you pulled his cock through his jeans and into your mouth.

How could we all not notice you? You were so ugly and those boobs were so little it was just obvious. Then the guy you were with looked like Billy Bob Thorton in "Slingblade". Except even weirder looking. Quite a pair.

So thanks for hopping on that very crowded bus, sitting 2 feet from me and making out with the goofy looking guy. That was odd, but no big deal. But when I looked over and your head was in his lap I was like -- "Are you fucking kidding me, you are now going to blow him?".

I thought it was hilarious that all those Mexican guys sitting right next to you said and did nada. I almost moved away but could not stop looking over. I kept thinking that this is going to make a good Craigslist "missed connection" and maybe a "best of".

The weird part is that the guy was staring at me with this serial killer look the whole time you were servicing him which was a little creepy. Like the whole fucking thing wasn't totally creepy.

So much like a human in "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" I kept scanning around looking to see if anyone else was registering this. I kept locking eyes with the young punk rock girl across from me. Her boyfriend was being oblivious but she kept looking at me, rolling her eyes and giggling. As they reached that climactic moment she was uncontrollably laughing out loud and it really helped me keep my sanity. To pass the time I texted my sister in real time the blow by blows (no pun intended) and listened to my iPod.

Well, thankfully you two freaks got off somewhere near the Tenderloin after he came in your mouth.

When it was over I had to say something and just made eye contact with everyone and said "Did we all see what I think we just saw?" and everyone laughed out loud.

Learned something new last night. The 49 is a bit more rocking than the 47.

Craigslist Cynicism

Reading "Best of Craigslist" today, I ran across this post:

I know you are a web site, so you do not feel as normal humans feel. But you should still be thanked for the magic that you were able to connect between two troubled souls.

Not long ago, a random "let's talk" post cross your pages, and garnered a response from another soul in the same situation: just looking for someone to talk to.

The two moved from your domain into their own and spoke constantly. They met, and had a wonderful time together. They felt things neither of them believed they deserved, and felt things they'd forgotten over the years.

You put them together. All they did was click. And by clicking, they "clicked."

I just wanted you, Craigslist, to know that last night, the two of them were awaiting their dinner when he suddenly took a knee and said to her, "(Name blurred), you asked for my heart, but you saw into my soul. I have nothing left that I can give you other than my life. Will you marry me?" And she responded, "Just kiss me already."

A month ago, they were complete strangers. 24 hours ago, they agreed to embark on life's greatest journey together. And none of that could have been possible -- with these two people -- without your help.

So, from both of us, we say Thank You, Craig.

And to all of the souls who continue to seek their true love, it really is possible.

I'm wondering what it says about me that, rather than thinking this was voted through because it was romantic, I immediately chuckled, thinking it was voted through for its humor.

"A month ago, they were complete strangers. 24 hours ago, they agreed to embark on life's greatest journey together. And none of that could have been possible -- with these two people -- without your help. " Seems like grounds for a liability lawsuit to me.

Talk About Crazy Weather

Apparently there was also a double rainbow!

The Coldest Winter

I never thought I'd see this site in San Francisco:


A part of me only actually believes this happened because I got hit in the head with tiny pellets of hail yesterday afternoon. I still want to go see these little piles, though. It's a tourist attraction for locals!

A response

This will be slightly out of context to some, but I want to put it all in one place. In response to a constant ongoing debate about Prop 8 through various facebook comments and posts, I had a little hissy fit tonight (albeit an extremely justified one). Here's my piece:

I try to remain very civilized here. I try to express my opinion while respecting others. But now I'm done. That last comment was the straw on this camel's back, Mark, and here's a little dose of reality.

The people advocating for gay rights want nothing more than to draw upon common ground. It is absolutely ridiculous to suggest that these are the people who are outlining differences. The people who do outline the differences are those who interpret a couple of lines of the OLD TESTAMENT in an extremely restrictive way that has nothing to do with the teachings of Jesus Christ. You know Jesus Christ never once mentions homosexuality? Not ONCE. Most gays only want the same rights and respect, and to be seen exactly the same, as straight people. Most gays just want the love they feel for one another to be equal to the love that every man and woman who are married feel for each other.

Given the freedom and lack of expectation to be married of gays, those couples who do want to get married have fought extremely hard for each other and are very devoted to a lifelong commitment. Many couples I know are far more committed, loving, and realistic than the straight couples I know.

And don't give me that bullshit civil union talk. That's ridiculous. You know what that is? It's called "separate but equal". We tried that in this country once. We had different water fountains for "coloreds". They had a great water fountain. It was just like our water fountain. Hell, it was even called the same thing. They didn't make some fancy word for it to make it different. But it was still a different water fountain. Separate, but equal. That's what civil unions are.

And sure, you can argue that it was still a man and a woman, and that's not an "abomination of God" like sodomy is. (And let's not even get into how anything other than your routine missionary sex could be considered an abomination of God, too. Guess God must have been playing some cruel mean trick when he made the human body so damn pleasurable. That's the God I know. Yep - mean and cruel and just trying to get us to slip up. Riiiiight.)

You know what marriage was in the Old Testament? Marriage was commitment, with sex. It had nothing to do with a ceremony. It had nothing to do with a title of being married. It had nothing to do with any kind of government recognition or rights. It simply meant that two people said, hey, let's be together, and they were.

I'm getting a bit tired of hearing fundamentalists preach some gospel that's more republican than Christian. This gospel of less government - "don't let those socialists take over, don't let them take our money to take care of anybody, blah blah blah", but then when it comes to basic human rights (remember "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness"?) they want more government than anyone else. You guys don't want the government to have the budget to take care of the elderly, the sick, or the poor, but you want the budget to go kill some of those Arabs and to poke your nose in on my relationship, my bedroom, and my body. Quite a contradiction. Then again, fundamentalists are frequently masters of hypocrisy. Yep, that was a bitchy comment. You know what? I earned it.

I've earned the right to say this piece in whatever way I see fit. I devoted my life to the church. I devoted everything I had. I scrimped and saved and gave every penny I could to help build a monstrous building off a highway between Ozark and Springfield because as a child I was guilted into thinking I would live a poor life and I would send my parents to the poor house if I didn't. I spent 7 days a week at church, but when I spoke up and thought I should have a shot at being a pastor someday, I was told I was too outspoken for a woman. I taught pre-school kids, I served in the nursery, and I worked with the junior high kids, but when I wanted to aspire to be a pastor, I wasn't good enough. I wasn't submissive enough.

I didn't even so much as kiss my high school boyfriend, but later, when another male friend betrayed me, my pastor told me it was my fault, and my church abandoned me.

So you know what? I get to say this. I get to call you out on your hypocrisy. You say you live God's love, but you don't respect your fellow humans. That is shameful. That is a human rights issue. A basic human rights issue. And it's not a Christian vs. Non-Christian argument. It's a self-righteous intolerant Christian vs. humble loving Christian argument.

If you think civil unions should be good enough for gays, then they should be good enough for everyone else. NOBODY should be allowed to get married in the eyes of the government. The word itself should be abolished from any legislative documents. Marriage should be within a church, within a family, within a home. That piece of paper you sign? guess what? that's bullshit in terms of what "marriage" is really supposed to be. That's your civil union.

If gays can't get married, why can people who don't love each other? why can people who are just getting married to cover up the pregnancy they got into because their parents refused to talk to them about real life? why can muslims, or buddhists, or hindus? And to that end, honestly, why can you? What makes you so friggin pure that your love is better than anyone else's? You think God thinks you're better? Show me where it says that in the Bible.

I'm sure I've alienated some people. I can deal with that. if I have hurt anyone personally, I sincerely apologize. Please know that I am speaking from truth, and also from sincere hurt that anyone could be filled with so much hatred, and yes, bigotry. I've been depressed since 8 passed. And honestly, I don't actually have a stake in this at all. I wouldn't campaign one way or another. But I'm just devastated by the fact that so many people are so filled with hate that they won't let others recognize their love and devotion to one another.

I have been so careful up to this point. But I just can't be anymore. It's not about not hurting anyone's feelings or not pissing anyone off. This is about LOVE. LOVE. know that word? LOVE OTHERS. LOVE LOVE LOVE. The movement against homosexuality is not based in love. It is NOT based in the teachings of Jesus Christ. It is based on one often misinterpreted line in the old testament (alongside all the other ones that so many people choose to ignore), and it is ridiculous. What Would Jesus Do? Jesus would not let politics affect his beliefs. He wouldn't force others into practicing under his beliefs. If we know anything from the Bible, we know that.

So yes, I'm sorry to go off like this, but it had to be done.

Honestly, this is bull, and I'm tired of hearing the ignorant overly religious remarks on my facebook page. I am extremely proud of where I come from. I am a Missouri girl in so many ways, and I love it. I am proud to have experienced what I did with the fundamentalist churches back home. That said, there's a reason I left. And after 23 years of hearing this shit over and over, I will not tolerate it in my space. I hope only that everyone can look into their hearts, look to their God, and look at their fellow humans, and forgive me my brashness and maybe hear some tiny piece of what I'm saying.

Thoughts on Palin's Wardrobe Malfunction

SF Gate reports on Sarah Palin's acceptance of campaign money for clothing:

Receiving more than $150,000 in clothing and accessories from the Republican National Committee last month doesn't just run counter to Gov. Sarah Palin's image as a "Wal-Mart Mom from Wasilla," it also might have violated the spirit if not the letter of a campaign finance law co-authored by her running mate, Sen. John McCain.

Here's the thing - I don't even mind that they used public money to buy her clothes if they are going to donate it all afterward (particularly if they are smart and auction it off for cash for charities rather than give it to good will or something). $150k is a bit excessive, but whatever - I can even deal with that.

What I can't deal with is where she shopped.

First of all, shopping at Neiman is not a responsible use of public money. Things cost more at Neiman because it's Neiman. Deign yourself to go Macys. I'm sure you can find some amazing and very expensive designer duds there.

Second, she preaches small town love and then shops at Neiman and Saks. My family, all small townish, wouldn't even feel comfortable walking into a Neiman or a Saks. I remember the first time I walked into a Nordstrom. I felt terribly underdressed in my jeans and definitely didn't think I belonged. And that was just Nordstrom! Neiman and Saks are symbols of the elite. They are symbols of wealth. They are NOT symbols of "Real America".

I'll admit, Palin looks amazing. But she's definitely not a symbol of small-town America.

I wonder how the other hockey moms Wasila dress?

Someone's PR rep should not be getting rehired.

That's Got to Feel Good!

Congratulations to Asa on being cleared of all charges!

Charges Dropped on ABC Reporter

A Must for Every Woman

I received another letter from a website today informing me that my order could not be processed. The account number thief's choice this time? Luma Tweeze.


Yes, you can own your very own magnified and lighted set of tweezers for just $23.75 total. I almost feel guilty that my account thief is missing out on this amazing prodct.

Blonde Ambitions

Oh this is a good one:

BRIDGEPORT -- A Stratford woman is seeing red after learning that blondes don't always have more fun.

Charlotte Feeney filed suit against the cosmetics firm L'Oreal Inc. after apparently grabbing the wrong tube of hair color and dyeing her "naturally blond" hair a dark brown.

But Superior Court Judge Richard Gilardi on Monday brushed off Feeney's lawsuit.

Gilardi ruled that Feeney had presented no evidence supporting her claim of negligence against the hair care company. "The plaintiff submitted no facts, no opinions and no standards to substantiate either of the allegations," he stated.

Feeney's lawyer, David Laudano, said he hadn't seen the judge's decision and couldn't comment. Feeney could not be reached for comment.

According to the lawsuit, Feeney on Aug. 27, 2003, purchased a tube of L'Oreal permanent hair color from a local supermarket to touch up her naturally blond hair.

A friend was applying the hair color when Feeney realized that her tresses had been transformed to a dark brown, the lawsuit states. She tried to return her hair to its natural color but it remains brown, according to the suit.

"I was mentally and physically in shock," Feeney states in court documents. "I was sick to my stomach, I had headaches, I don't like myself, I stay home more than ever in my life, I wear hats most of the time," she states.

Feeney said she ended up going to the doctor for anxiety and was put on medications for depression.

"I can never go back to my natural blonde hair," she complains. "I feel fake about that. Also blondes do get more attention than brunettes, of course, emotionally, I miss that."

Feeney charged in her lawsuit that a brown hair coloring was somehow put in a box for blonde hair and that the hair coloring industry has a legal obligation to put a warning on every box of hair dye that the color inside the tube may not be the same color as the label.

L'Oreal, in court papers filed in the case, disputed Feeney's claim that the wrong color was in the box of hair dye she had purchased. The firm also contended if she did pick out brown dye instead of blonde she should have realized her mistake if she had followed the directions on the package to first do a strand test.

found at myway.com

Bonus Points

woot.com had a tv up for sale tonight

bonus points to whoever can tell me what movie is playing in the picture of the television

hint: it's set in my favorite city!

The Moment I KNEW

When you date someone for a long time, you have a lot of moments when you think you know that person is the one, and a lot of moments of uncertainty. This moment that has just passed will forever go down in history as THE moment when I KNEW without a doubt that Pete is THE guy:

I wrote a comment on facebook, and after responding, Pete emailed me privately:

from: Pete
to: Monika
date: Thu, Oct 2, 2008 at 11:42 AM
subject: you censored "dumbass"?

really?

God I love this man.

Some Are Useful

I hate campaign season. Everything is fake. It's terrible. Really truly horribly icky. Blah.

My economics professor has a saying that he repeatedly uses:
"All models are flawed; some are useful."

I'd like to extrapolate a bit and apply it to our current situation:

All politicians are flawed (replace with: assholes, morons, or whatever fits your need); some are useful.

Help Direct Charitable Donations!

I voted for Pets Unlimited.

Reconciling My Liberal and Conservative Sides

A friend posted a wonderful article about the real meaning of conservativism that really highlights the fact that conservative and liberal are not just interchangeable terms for republican and democrat.

The author has many great points, and I strongly urge you to read the article yourself, but my favorite paragraph is his description of Obama:

Barack Obama is not my ideal candidate for president. (In fact, I made the maximum donation to John McCain during the primaries, when there was still hope he might come to his senses.) But I now see that Obama is almost the ideal candidate for this moment in American history. I disagree with him on many issues. But those don’t matter as much as what Obama offers, which is a deeply conservative view of the world. Nobody can read Obama’s books (which, it is worth noting, he wrote himself) or listen to him speak without realizing that this is a thoughtful, pragmatic, and prudent man. It gives me comfort just to think that after eight years of George W. Bush we will have a president who has actually read the Federalist Papers.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who went from supporting McCain to rooting against him.

Things Crazy People Buy

My debit card number was stolen recently. I believe it was from google checkout, because a close friend had hers stolen just before me, and we both had signed up on google checkout just prior to this happening. I noticed because a charge showed up for remind-help.com, which turned out to be a front for several adult websites. I of course called my bank and dealt with it, but now I'm receiving the letters from merchandisers telling me my card was declined.

Apparently this is not uncommon. I'm not sure if people purchase items and ship them to other recipient addresses or what, but my information is what's on the purchase, down to my cell number. That's incredibly scary, for one, but it also just makes it stupid to purchase things that ship only to the billing address.

For example, AL came home a couple of weeks ago to find a beautiful new coffee maker on her doorstep. She called the company, who informed her of her purchase of one coffee maker, two bags of coffee, an extra scooper, and filters. The accessories never arrived, but AL now has a coffee maker. The company thought it would be too expensive to ship it back, so they told her to keep it.

Yesterday I received a letter stating that my card had been declined on a purchase from a company called Plymouth Direct. The item description? 1 Urine Gone Kit.


Yep.

What I don't understand is why these people didn't just go to best buy or something and purchase a whole bunch of stuff they could sell? I mean, if you're going to be a thief, make it worth your while, right?

Too bad I didn't come home to find this waiting for me. I could have had some fun with the black light stain detector. :)

Because It's Nice When the World Smiles At You

Sleepy Time

I have long had a habit of sleeping in strange positions. Pete frequently makes fun of me (or yells at me for stealing the covers) when I sit up in bed, cross my legs indian style, and then fold back over onto my knees and doze off.

I also have been known to be called "giraffe" once in a while.

So of course, when I came across this article on animal sleeping habits, I felt a connection.



I feel you, Mr. Giraffe.

Here's wishing I could join you.

California Hunger Crisis

I've been working on a proposal to address the California Hunger Crisis, and I thought I'd share some of the background info here.

Hunger in California
Before the recent economic downward turn, 4.2 million Californians (12% of the population)
were considered “food insecure”, which means they had to make choices between food and other
living expenses. A much larger percentage was considered to be living in “marginal food
security”, which means they were sometimes threatened with these choices while frequently
facing the lack of a healthy balanced diet. This population is constantly vulnerable to becoming
food insecure when circumstances change.

Families with children are much more likely to be food insecure.

The Current Food Crisis
Nationally, food banks are reporting a 15-20% increase on average in the number of people
turning to them for help now compared to one year ago.

Decreased Support
Food banks receive the bulk of their food from the food industry, including producers,
distributors, and grocery stores. Usually this food is donated because of surplus inventory or
slightly damaged product. Increased efficiency in the food industry, and thus decreased surplus,
along with the proliferation of bargain grocery stores that will purchase dented cans for resale
has led to a major decrease in food donations from this previously steady source.

Since 2002, USDA commodities distributed nationwide has decreased more than 60% - the
equivalent of 45 million lost meals in California. The low dollar has increased food exports,
which has further decreased USDA donations over the past year.

Rising Food Costs
The United States is experiencing the worst food inflation prices since the 1970s.
The federal consumer price index (CPI) for the cost of food rose 4.7% from March 2007 to
March 2008. The CPI for the Thrifty Food Plan, the basis for Food Stamp allotment, increased
even more at 5.6%. The Thrifty Food Plan includes items that will feed a family at the lowest
possible cost while providing basic, although not adequate or healthy, dietary needs. In 2007, the Thrifty Food Plan cost $320 per month for a family of two. Changes in the price of items in the Thrifty Food Plan present a more accurate description of the stresses felt by low-income
families.

In the first quarter of 2008 crop prices were up 20%, and livestock prices were up 10%.
The CPI for cereal and bakery products increased by 4.4% in 2007 and is projected to rise 8% in
2008. Price of milk is up 30% and bread is up 16%

Rising Fuel Costs
The cost of gas has led many families to make choices between going to work and purchasing
groceries.

The increase in cost also has great impact on Food Banks. The cost of distributing food is greatly
increasing the overhead required of these programs, particularly in outlying communities and
areas where food banks have had to close.

Economic Crisis
The recent economic crisis, including home foreclosures and job losses, has disproportionately
affected citizens living in marginal food security. This has led to those families that previously
were able to subsist without assistance to turn to food banks in recent months.

In early 2007, California’s Central Valley experienced a devastating freeze that destroyed crops
and caused widespread economic hardship. Many families have yet to recover.

Several California food banks have reported that past donors and volunteers are now turning to
them for help. The number of first time aid recipients is up an estimated 26-50%.

Insufficient Utilization of Federal Aid
Of the Americans eligible for food stamp benefits, only 65% are enrolled nationally. In
California this number is even lower at 50%. In the subgroup of working families, nationally
57% eligible households are enrolled, while in California it was 34%. California ranked 50th in
the nation on this measure (including D.C., we only performed better than Colorado). Even if
California aims only to participate at the national average, the state is currently forgoing $1
billion in federal funds for its citizens each year.

Food Stamp benefits are entirely federally funded and provide economic stimulation to
communities in California. Every $5 in new food stamp benefits generates $9.30 in community
economic activity. Every additional dollar in food stamps generates up to $0.47 of new spending
on food.

Food Bank Response
The recently passed Farm Bill will deliver some relief in October, but the new level of funding
will still not return food supply to the 2002 level and will certainly not address the excessive
increase in demand.

Food Banks across the country are responding by decreasing programs while dipping into
reserves. Several food banks have closed in the past few months. Most food banks, however, are
avoiding closure by limiting programs. Food pantries and soup kitchens across California have
decreased from five to seven open days per week to one to five days open every two weeks.
Distribution programs are reporting that they have been forced to decrease handouts from seven
days of food to two days of food.

Most commonly, though, food banks are simply depleting their reserves in order to supply the
needed resources to communities. This will have a devastating effect in the coming months and
years.

The federal budget does not currently allow for a comprehensive plan for addressing hunger in
America, and the California budget deadlock further incapacitates state and local agencies in
efforts to help. Food banks are completely dependent upon private donations to weather this
crisis and work toward a more sustainable future.

Please consider donating what you can. Volunteer time, non-perishable food, and of course, cash, are always valued and greatly needed.

Resources

Information

Food Crisis Effect on Food Banks

“Food Agencies Go Hungry in San Francisco” San Francisco Business Times

“Potato Chips Beckon as Food Prices Rise” San Francisco Chronicle

News Articles Regarding Current Crisis - LA Food Bank


Donate/Volunteer

San Francisco

Alameda County

Contra Costa/Solano Counties

Peninsula and South Bay

Marin County

Sonoma County

Napa County

America's Got Talent?

Okay, so I'm blogging about reality TV. Not sure if this brings me down a notch. :)

I've been watching the last few episodes of America's Got Talent (the first season I've seen at all). My general impression is that the quality of the singers and dancers is pretty low on the show, but it offers an opportunity for other kinds of acts. This makes sense given that singers will do Idol, or country singers will do Nashville Star, and dancers have their options and whatnot. Tonight, though, I saw a performance that made me stop in my tracks and rewind it and watch it again. Check it out here:

Sarah Lenore - Bleeding Love

The judges, however, blasted her for this song choice. Really? I thought she was amazing. Am I totally off here? Usually I'm in full agreement with the realistic judges (mainly Piers on AGT and Simon on Idol), but tonight I thought all three of them were idiots. This girl has got some MAJOR talent.

So I went back to watch her other performances to find out why they thought this was so bad. She has been AMAZING at country music, and that's what she wants to do, but I still thought this song really showcased her talent, appealed to a wider audience, and showed her versatility. She could have turned it into a country song, which would have just maybe been the most downloaded song on itunes if it got put up, but wrong song? I certainly don't think so. I definitely think this is an up-and-comer to look out for and hope she starts getting some radio play because of this show. She's already recording and performing in Nashville, so this boost could be all she needs. Check out some of her other performances:

Sarah Lenore - Before He Cheats Video

Sarah Lenore - Not Ready to Make Nice Video

Sarah Lenore - Lemonade Video

Sarah Lenore MySpace Page with Music

Sarah Lenore CD on Amazon with Previews

Seriously, if I still lived in Missouri, I'd be planning a trip to Nashville to see this chick. My fingers are crossed for you, Sarah!

Lipstick on a Pig

This is exactly why I can't deal with politics pre-election. I'm interested in policies, not campaigns, and this is just idiotic:

From the SF Chronicle:

On Tuesday, Obama criticized McCain's economic policies as similar to those of President Bush, saying: "You can put lipstick on a pig ... it's still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It's still going to stink after eight years."

The McCain campaign contended that the comments were directed at Palin, the GOP's first woman on a presidential ticket. In her acceptance speech last week, she had referred to herself in a joke about lipstick being the only difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull.

Accusing Obama of "smearing" Palin in "offensive and disgraceful" comments, the McCain campaign demanded an apology — though McCain himself used the folksy metaphor a few times last year, including once to describe Democratic Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's health care plan.

The McCain campaign on Wednesday issued an Internet ad that said Obama was talking about Palin and said of Obama: "Ready to lead? No. Ready to smear? Yes."

...

"What their campaign has done this morning is the same game that has made people sick and tired of politics in this country. They seize on an innocent remark, try to take it out of context, throw up an outrageous ad because they know that it's catnip for the news media," Obama said.

Obama's campaign has accused the GOP camp of engaging in a "pathetic attempt to play the gender card." In an e-mail to reporters Wednesday, the campaign noted two other instances of McCain using the phrase "lipstick on a pig" and its use by other Republicans such as House Minority Leader John Boehner and Arizona Sen. Jon Kyl.

Argh.

Feels Like Home

A True Redneck Story:

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) - A Charleston man faces drunken driving charges after police spotted him riding a farm tractor on a highway without lights or proper warning signs. Kanawha County sheriff's deputies arrested 22-year-old Joshua David Postalwait early Friday morning.

A complaint filed in Kanawha County Magistrate Court said deputies were responding to a report of an intoxicated man on a tractor when they saw the tractor on Casdorph Road.

Postalwait was charged with driving under the influence and carrying a concealed weapon.

He was being held Friday afternoon at South Central Regional Jail. Magistrate court officials did not know whether he has a lawyer.

Reiser is a Jacka**

So Hans Reiser FINALLY admitted to killing his wife. A WHILE ago. Turns out his kids (7 and 8 years old) had to move to Russia to be cared for by their maternal grandma, and they aren't doing so well financially. An attorney in SF has taken on the case pro-bono and recently filed suit against Reiser to provide some kind of financial security for the children he left without a mother. The important thing to remember here is that HE ADMITS HE KILLED THEIR MOTHER. Yet, this is his attorney's response to the suit:

Richard Tamor, an attorney for Reiser, said Tuesday, "Liability is fairly clear given the guilty plea, but, nevertheless, as you saw from the trial, (the children's attorney) is going to rue the day they decided to engage Hans in litigation - they'll prevail eventually, but it will be a long, painful journey getting there."

Really? You know the kids will prevail, you admit the liability is there, and yet you want to make their journey MORE painful? Reiser, dude, this is where you finally grow a pair and just give over EVERY PENNY to those poor kids. It's not like you'll need it where you're going.

Eye On Alums

A college friend is making major headlines. Anyone catch the story about the ABC reporter pushed into the street and then arrested by Denver police at the Democratic Convention? Yes, that would be the one and only Asa Eslocker, of Wash U fame. Can't wait to see this written up in the Washington University Magazine.



watch the Video

free Asa on Facebook

read the story at ABC, TMZ, ET, Variety, Gawker, or your very own favorite news source

read the satirical account

Rock on, Asa!

A Haiku for my Family

monkey, gorilla
and a furry orange tiger-
happy little clan