Greedy Golden-Mantled Ground Squirrel

Last week PMac and I were planning our Crater Lake camping trip when I showed him the spork/knife I encountered on my Yosemite trip. (These things are awesome, by the way.) He made a stop at REI, and when we set up for dinner he showed me the orange "sporkife" (as he calls it) that he got especially for me. Super sweet.

We had a fantastic campfire dinner, cleaned up, and went to bed. The next morning we realized the camp suds were missing. We figured we'd left them near the water source and someone picked them up. A large group of Russians had taken over all the camp sites around us, and perhaps they decided to keep our soap. Annoying, but we let it go. Which was easy to do because PMac was preoccupied with roasting a corn cob to ashes.

The next night after dinner, I cleaned up and noticed I couldn't find the orange spork I was using. I searched the trash. I searched the fire. I couldn't find it anywhere and was really bummed. Peter told me it was okay, the spork was chillin' with the camp suds. We decided that one of the golden-mantled ground squirrels had stolen them and PMac returned to his attention to burning food parts including the pit from my nectarine.

The following morning I found the camp suds. They were back in the bag where they belonged - the bag both of us had searched multiple times over the previous two days. Seemed like the squirrel decided he didn't want them and brought them back. We hoped the spork might show up before we left, but it didn't happen.

Until yesterday, when I received an envelope containing the following:

Text Reads:

Dearest Monika: 

I wanted to return this spoon to you. I have spent my life at Mazama Campground stealing items from the parks visitors. After a bout of severe indigestion and delerium brought on by drinking Citronela CampSuds, Iw as overcome with remorse when I saw how sad you were for looseing this spoon - such a nice little gift from your boyfrined that I selfishly ran away with. I snuck the Suds back in your bag but missed getting the spoon in before you left us. You and your boyfriend seemed so happy and having such a great time - I am sorry for causing anguish over this lost spoon. Please do come back and see us and I hope you don't take out your anguish on my fellows you see along the highway. Thanks for the bag of nuts (sorry) but what was up with the corn cob and the peach pit?!? 

Now how to get this laptop back to the Russians in E18 without getting caught? 

---happy trails 

GMGS

(golden mantled ground squirell)

Best. Gift. Ever.
Terrible grammar and spelling and all. You can only expect so much from a ground squirrel.