9.21.2004

What A Girl Wants

Ray Blackston's version of what men MUST do for women, as told in a dialogue in his novel, Flabbergasted:

After a young man mentions the idea of there being one person for everyone that has been well hidden thus far, two young women have the following to say:

"Don't believe that. If I stay in South Carolina, I could meet somebody. Or if I were to move to Idaho, I could meet somebody else. But if I married either one, that one would be the right now."

"But the right one has to prove he's the right one."

"He has to treat you like a precious gem, but he needs to be in a real relationship with God first."

"All of that opening of doors and bringing of flowers is a given. A guy's momma shoulda taught 'im that."

"At least that."

"Birthdays and annivesaries seared into his brain."

"That, too."

"Without even asking, he should know if I'm happy or sad or somewhere in between."

"And none of those yes-men who agree with everything, like if a girl says she loves moldy cheese and the guy says he loves moldy cheese, too. We don't need that."

"Definitely don't need that."

"And no calling us at 11:00pm on Thursday, requesting a date for Friday."

"That wouldn't be courteous."

"And if you want to skimp on something, skimp on the price of your lawnmower or your golf clubs, or sit in the cheap seats at the ball games. But don't skimp on us."

"That's a fact."

"And after a nice evening, call us the next day and tell us we're special."

"That'd be nice."

"And if we go to the same church and then break up, don't sit next to us during the Sunday morning service and ask to share a hymnal."

"Yuck."

"But if we get back together, make it clear that we girls can order whatever meal we want, since the price of steak versus meatloaf pales in comparison to a lifetime of love and devotion."

"Another thing...he should never, on a date or any other social occasion, let us get into situations that might be even slightly perceived as compromising."

"Now, just take good notes and inform the entire male populace."

No comments: