balancing on one foot

How do you make it better when you've broken the trust of someone you love? Even if they forgive you, do you actually forgive yourself? Or do you constantly want to say, no no, don't tell me that...no no, don't put your trust in me, I don't deserve it. But what is any kind of love, any kind of friendship without trust?

And what if that trust was broken because you trusted someone else? What if you feel betrayed by someone who did the exact same thing you just did. How do you deal with it? Well, your anger at them simply becomes even more anger at yourself. And how do you combat that? You need forgiveness from somewhere...but even the person who fucked over is kind enough to do so, that's not really enough, now is it? Because you're still blaming yourself for the transgressions of those other people and only you can forgive that. So what the fuck? why trust?

Someone show me trust that hasn't been broken. Someone show me it's worth it. Or show me a way to love without it. Bah.