10.13.2003

I haven't been updating much lately, and I apologize to those of you who actually read this thing, but tonight probably won't be much better. I'm putting in a lot of time to the Mandys website, which is going very very well. Other than that, i suppose I'm spending a lot of time with things that don't really translate to blogdom. I had a conversation with someone recently about how much we reveal to others about ourselves. I admitted that I reveal more than most immediately, almost as a defense mechanism. I'm not sure, however, that I ever realized it was to keep people from asking about other things. I decided it would be better for me to limit how much I share with others, and now I'm being put to the ultimate test. In finding parts of myself I'm actually not willing to share with others, though, I've begun feeling more alone that I believe I ever have. At least before I could share my bullshit and have someone else understand and tell me they've dealt with it or cry with me or laugh at me or whatever. Now I'm just stuck. Sometimes, it's hard to even share things with God. What's up with that? Argh.

Okay, me making light of something not so light, but how else to deal with it all? I'm just not sure right now. Be patient with me if I don't blog for awhile, or if they're short.

Thanks

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