Happy Camper Frustrations

It’s already been a rough day. My boss called me in to ask me about my time sheet that I turned into her for payroll. She told me that we have to have discussions about events that I attend because I shouldn’t be getting paid for them. My understanding is that she was speaking for the board and not herself, but she told me that salaried employees were “volunteering” their time, so I should be, too. I pointed out that salaried employees get to leave for doctor appointments or car check ups or what not without taking a dock in their pay, so they make up for it by working after hours events occasionally and it all evens out. I, however, don’t get to leave, or be five minutes late, without taking a dock in my pay because my paycheck is based on what’s recorded on paper. Therefore, when I have to work events and such it is extra time, not part of a balance like it is with the salaried employees. I pointed out to her that when she and the program services manager were sick and stayed home from work, they didn’t take a dock in their pay, but I didn’t get paid at all for those hours I was gone. She said that salaried employees accrue sick time. I told her that I accrue sick time, too, but NONE of us get to take it until we’ve been here six months. They’ve both already taken some. She told me that the board discussion was simply that we had to talk about events and determine whether they would be volunteer events for me. I told her very frankly that I would not do them if they were volunteer events. She told me I didn’t need to get that way with her. I calmed a bit and said that it wasn’t about her, I was frustrated with the board, and that with the way they have been treating us lately I will not be doing volunteer work. I will gladly volunteer as a wishgranter, but I will not volunteer time that I’ve been getting paid for and that I should have as my sole job anyway. I told her that it had nothing to do with her, but that I was very frustrated with the board. She told me that it wasn’t my job to worry about the board, she was doing that. Except that it’s everything about my life that it’s affecting. Anyway, I went back in a few minutes later and just apologized for getting defensive. She told me it was no problem, she didn’t blame me, and then we moved on to happier conversations and looking at pics of her husbands trip to Korea where he is right now.

I feel like everything I do is being examined under a microscope. I was not hired because of my office administration skills. I was hired because of my experience in event planning. But I don’t feel that I’m ever going to move to that position now. The former ED told me she hired me to get my foot in the door so that when the board realized we needed another staff I could be the development person. I understand some ideas have changed now, but I could still focus on event coordination. Really, what’s happening is that my foot’s in the door and I’m gonna get stuck on this wrung making no money in a job where the board is constantly showing us little appreciation and everything we do is questioned. I just feel particularly bad about this situation today and am not sure what to do to make it better. It almost all feels like a lost cause. I used to think this was a great job where I could really shine and learn and become something that could really help the organization. Now I just feel like I’m here to work and get paid and it doesn’t matter if I make a difference because nobody really gives a rip. I put my heart into this and that’s what it really takes to make a non-profit work, but I feel like I’m being constantly pushed towards simply protecting myself, and if that’s the case, why am I not working in the corporate world making 40k for a hell of a lot less than I’m doing here?

I’m feeling very disheartened and I don’t know how to fix it. *sigh*

I told him that he'd better go
'Cause I was crazy and impossible,
That my love was broken,
my dreams had run off wild.

Part of my job should NOT be protecting my company's from people trying to exploit us. There are so many small businesses out there, especially people who run their own start ups, that try to take advantage of the logo. They're trying to get us to do free publicity for them in exchange for a 10% donation. Seriously...when they only reason you're donating to us is to get something from us, the donation should be a little larger than that. Argh.

Greg's dad flew up from Tampa last weekend. -- Greg is the boyfriend. This is significant...I named the puppy (see Sweetest Thing), so it looks like I'll have to keep him now. :) -- Anyway, Greg's dad and stepmom flew up and we had a very cool visit. I played nice and they thought well of me. And you know it's an entertaining weekend when conversation surrounds the size of your boyfriend's sister's childhood turds.

The Mythbusters are testing the poodle in a microwave myth. Rock on, Mythbusters! Nuke that evil being!

So I've been browsing tall websites and feeling annoyed with the lack of clothing available. This is what I found:

A friend of mine started his own company. You pick your style, your color, and your fabrics; you submit your measurements according to very easy read to instructions; and you get amazing clothes that fit you perfectly. And given the custom specifications and quality fabrics, the prices are pretty dern nice, too. Check out the website: www.tallandtrendy.com

Rock on.


On a less positive note, I found this article that demonstrates how hard it can be to be a tall female. The end result is isolated, but the prior events are pretty common. http://www.tallwomen.org/contents/morgan.htm

Sad.

Today I found myself caught in one of the many "can't win" cycles of early adulthood. I want to be the new Director of Development. In order to get the promotion, I need to be able to look professional in the business community. To look professional, I need a professional wardrobe. Additions to a wardrobe cost money. To get money, I need a promotion. Yuck.

Clothes are especially difficult for me given my heigh. Does anyone want to invest in a fine young woman and help her become a professional in the non-profit world? I'll make you a plaque. :)

I have this absolutely incredible boyfriend and things are going so well...but none of you would know that for sure because I never write about him. I've discovered four main reasons:
1. I really don't want to jinx the whole thing. I have this bad habit of speaking too soon and messing it all up before it ever has a chance to be really good. I want to give this one a chance to speak for itself before I put so much pressure on the relationship that it cracks.
2. Everything is good...and normal. There's nothing big and dramatic to write about because we don't have big dramatic fights and I have don't have huge insecurities and when the great stuff happens I want to enjoy it, not write about it. Which leads to...
3. I'm actually having fun living life with him instead of here just thinking about it, overanalyzing, and writing every day.
And most of all...
4. I no longer have anything to prove. I've got the great guy, I don't have to show anyone (least of all myself) that he's perfect or the one or some spectacular thing, because I can just lay back and let it all happen.

I've felt passionate in the past, but always insecure in that passion. I've felt comfortable, but bored, or just not romantic. Now, for the first time in my life, I feel secure and comfy, as well as totally in love. This is amazing. Now don't expect to hear a ton about it anytime soon :)

Got my hair done. Tried to go brunette, but told the chick i was a bit scared of the color change. Thought it was really dark until I dried it, and now it's just a dark blonde. Too dark to be a great blonde, too light to be a real brunette. Hrm.

On a more successful note, I finally got our office completely into the 21st century. I did away with carbon copy receipts and finally switched to computer printouts. WOO HOO! Yay for not having to use the friggin typewriter anymore!

Christmas with the boyfriend's family this weekend. On Sunday he basically handed over control of his credit card to me so I could buy them all gifts. Way fun. Seriously love buying gifts for people, especially with other people's money. Can't wait to hang out with them while they open the presents now.

I've had breakfast in bed the last two days...how am I ever going to adjust to waking up alone and eating nothing until lunch? I'm such a lucky girl!

Kind of a somber day here at the office. We received two calls today telling us children had died. One was going on her wish next month, and one hadn't even qualified yet. So many all at once. I think we're all keeping to ourselves a bit. This is the hard part.

Happy Thanksgiving

Started very well. Had Wed. off so I could clean and prepare, the wonderful boy came down for the holiday weekend and helped out a bit. Apartment, with exception of my room, was spotless and everything was where it belonged for the first time since we moved in. Dinner prep went very well. Made a whole hell of a lot of food and everyone said we made too much. Good thing, because we only had enough leftovers to do lunch today. Corey made yummy broccoli and cheese casserole, we had turkey and mom's dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, homemade cranberry sauce, two kinds of sweet potatoes (cause I don't like the really sweet ones with all the extra stuff on them), pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin pie, devilled eggs, fruit salad, and spicy chocolate cookies. Not too shabby. Mom and her boy came, Dad and Joan, Pat, Chuck and his boy, and then Corey and Greg. We had lots of wine and started drinking at 2pm. It was fabulous. After the parental units left, we cracked out the hard alcohol and turned it into a full fledged party. Corey molested my boyfriend, Heather came over and taught us how to salsa her way, and Chuck's boy provided us with enough alcohol to last us til next Thanksgiving. We woke up this morning to a kitchen full of awful smelly dishes and sticky flooring, and a floor full of half empty drink glasses. Yum. Some Thanksgiving :) Bet the pilgrims didn't have this much fun.

I am so madly in love with the most incredible man in the world.

Thanksgiving...this is my first one at MY home. I'm cooking for the family, including Mom and her new boyfriend (yeah, weird, my MOTHER kissed a man after like 9 years of no interaction with the opposite sex...scary), my dad and his gf, my boyfriend, my roommate, a friend and his roommate, and possibly my sister and her family. I sooooo am wondering if I thought I could handle more than I actually can. It'll be fun, though. I scored a three day holiday so that I can be off tomorrow to get ready.

I experienced the first death of a child whose case I actually worked on yesterday. We were just talking about her an hour or so before her mom called. This one was unexpected. It's the sad part of what we do here.

The dark side of non-profits

I've been receiving calls as of late, at home and at work, from people telling me we called them to ask for money, or asking who the wishing well foundation is and if that's us here at our office. Well, here's the deal. The Wishing Well Foundation is an organization in Louisiana. They have fundraising companies based in Iowa and Missouri that do telemarketing.
This is the dirt I uncovered on them:

http://www.charitywatch.org/articles/childrenswish.html

I would say this is enough for me state that they are not legit. We will NEVER NEVER call you to ask for money. NO PHONE SOLICITATIONS.

Be careful where you spend your money.

And heck, if you're gonna spend your money, email me and I'll give you the address of a non-profit in desperate need of what you've got. :)

Another great political post.

www.fuckthesouth.com

although probably somewhat blasphemous coming from me, I suppose :)

A very powerful post-election message:

An Open Letter to the Red States

Okay, grandiose statement coming...

I've met someone pretty dern special. This could be big, folks.

SO many updates:

Job is amazing.

Apparently I'm a compelling speaker.

My niece had a baby and is moving to DC!
Yay :)

More details later.

So i LOVE my job, but I don't know how I'm going to deal with this sitting on my ass all day thing. I seriously need to make enough money soon to get a gym membership, cause I don't feel like having a but shaped like my chair.