In Prison With Nothing to Do? Don't Do THAT!

The South Florida Sun-Sentinel Reports:

"A Broward County jail inmate accused of masturbating in his cell while a female deputy saw him from another room was convicted of indecent exposure Wednesday."

Okay, if the guy was being a jerk and going at it intentionally in front of the female deputy, I could maybe see this as a reasonable charge. But the man was in his cell...in his private home. Granted, he doesn't have the same privacy rights, but would deputy complain if he was peeing? Same idea, right? And honestly, I'd rather the guy be masturbating than assaulting another prisoner. Seriously. This is ridic.

The Opposite of West Virginia

Need another reason to avoid leaving a child alone with your dog? How about to keep them from suffering the most humiliating kind of post traumatic stress disorder possible:

Pit Bull Sodomizes Two-Year Old

Ewww.

A Story to Make You Smile

And to remind you not to pack your cat!

SAN BERNARDINO, Calif. (AP) - A cat whose owners thought was lost spent nearly three weeks crossing the Pacific Ocean in a shipping container with no food or water - and appears to be just fine.

The voyage began after Pamela Escamilla lost sight of her 3-year-old calico, Spice, while packing a huge container with household goods in Waikoloa Village, Hawaii.

The container was shipped June 15 to Southern California. Escamilla, 39, and her husband couldn't find the cat before taking their flight and asked neighbors in Hawaii to call if Spice returned.

While the Escamillas feared the worst, Spice spent 18 days in the pitch-black container without food or water as it crossed the Pacific before arriving at the San Bernardino home of Escamilla's parents on Tuesday.

"We really thought that cat was going to be dead," said Edward Gardner, Escamilla's father.

When Escamilla opened the container, she and family members huddled around her noticed fluffs of cat hair on the floor.

They started removing items, and Escamilla climbed into the container to search.

"I saw (Spice) poke her head out from behind some bicycles, and I started to scream," said Escamilla. She gently picked up the cat and went to the veterinarian, who said the feline's prognosis was good.

"It's always a good day when the cat's alive," said Escamilla. "We didn't know what we would find."

Spice's kidneys had shrunk and her bowels were backed up, but she managed to get some food and water down at the vet, Escamilla said.

The vet gave the Escamillas a soup recipe for Spice made of chicken broth and marrow.

"(The vet) said, 'That's a calico for you,"' Escamilla said. "They have a survival instinct."

From APNews

And On That Note...

Some of the greatest marketing plans I've come across recently--

Leukemia & Lymphoma Society:
The Man & Woman of the Year Competition actually pits candidates for the title against each other in fundraising endeavors. They each throw events that raise money for the cause, and each dollar raised counts as a vote for the candidate. Not only does this raise funds efficiently (volunteers are doing all of the event planning), but it also ensures that the name of the organization is CONSTANTLY in the papers, on calendars, and on everyone's minds.

PerfectMatch.com:
Okay, so this may not have actually been a marketing ploy by perfectmatch.com, but it sure seems like it. The Science of Love aired last week as a one-hour dating show highlighting instinct versus science. The contestant, Adam, chose one girl for himself, and the other date was chosen by "science". The date with science was engineered to produce a love response (romantic settings, scary feats, etc.), and Adam absolutely chose the science date. The idea was that science can pick our dates better than we can, so we should trust it more. Thus, perfectmatch.com is a great choice. Regardless, this was a brilliant plan to get people to switch over after having failed at match.com and such.

Nikon:
Georgetown, SC, recently became Picturetown when Nikon offered residents 200 of their new D40s to demonstrate that ANYONE can produce a great picture with this camera. Seemingly generous, small-town, homey, and GENIUS! I even want one now. And I was holding out for an SLR. (Man I'm glad I didn't get into photography...if everyone can do it how would I make money? :))

Best Response to the Email Ordeal Yet!

"Fuck your stupid marketing tactics"

If only I had thought of it intentionally!